Report by Daniel Mortlock:
It's not every week a cricket club has a player making their 400th appearance . . . except when it is every week. Where we had Faruk Kara celebrating this milestone last Wednesday, today it was Daniel Mortlock's turn. However, where Faruk managed something close to a fantasy game, highlighted by securing the win with an immaculate final over, today was, while not quite a nightmare, a mixed outing at best.
It started, as it has most Wednesdays this season, with the desperate search for eleven cricketers. We got up as high as 10.5 at various times during the day, but despite approaches to St Giles (thanks Pete!), John's College (thanks Matty) and, er, Simon Godsill's son (thanks Simon!), were only able to rustle up one extra player, Jack Hutchison from St Giles (who played one game for Remnants last year and is now a proper cricketer). So a ten-man side gradually congealed at the Coton rec., albeit with insufficient punctuality to give us any choice about whether to bat first.
We at least started well as Simon Godsill (19 off 23 balls) and James Robinson (35 off 44 balls) put together a steady partnership against decent bowling, which was ended only when a laser-like direct hit from the outfield caught Simon a yard short going for a second run. Number three Neil Grover then seemed set to get off the mark first ball when the cover fielder fluffed a regulation stop . . . only to recover well and then catch Neil short with another direct hit. We avoided what would have been the most embarrassing team hat-trick in cricket history, after which Marcus Baker picked up where he left off last week, repeatdly smashing the ball through - or over - the covers. With the score at 77/2 after 8 (eight-ball) overs we were ahead of the game . . .
. . . at which point Marcus swung hard at a ball which kept low, after which his bat's unimpeded momentum was sufficient to tear a muscle in his side. After briefly going off in considerable pain, Marcus heroically resumed his innings, playing one-handed tennis shots and shuffling gingerly between ends. It had shades of Glen Maxwell's remarkable innings against Afganistan in the 2023 World Cup, although with the significant difference that Marcus's scoring ground to a halt: before the injury he'd smacked 24* off 13 balls; afterward he made just 7 off 20 balls. Marcus was eventually put out of his misery (for 31 off 33 balls) when he missed a straight ball, after which he sensibly headed home, hopefully to be able to rest and recover properly. Less importantly, this took the wind out of our sails as a team, and while Taha Ahsan (5* off 2 balls) finished the innings with a dismissive boundary, our eventual total of 120/5 was no more than a par score.
Still, what Neil, now keeping wicket, described as "the remnants of the Remnants" at least made a fight of things, despite being one short in the field even with a Coton sub in place. Jack (0/17) began with a maiden, after which Daniel concded just 2 runs off his first over; and then Daniel (2/13 in his first spell) responded well to being hit for a massive six over mid-off by taking wickets with consecutive balls. With Paul Jordan (0/18) also bowling well, we changed ends at the 7-over mark with Coton behind the rate on 50/2. Was this to be our finest hour?
With the long boundary now on the leg-side and Jack single-handedly patrolling it with fabulous athleticism ("I like running!"), it was time to bring on our slower bowlers to consolidate our advantage. Unfortunately, they were a bit short and wide outside off, and we had all but lost whatever grip we had on the game as 36 runs came from the next three overs. This passage of play included an injury scare even worse than Marcus's, when John Moore (0/19) was hit on the shin by a drive and a sharp crack rang out across the ground as the ball ricocheted off to mid-wicket - but, as we all know, John fields in shin pads, and seemed to be completely unfazed by the impact.
At this point Daniel decided that the cricketing gods had engineered the perfect situation for him to come back on for his final over to i) complete his hat-trick with a first-ball wicket and then ii) to turn the game back in our favour with an over of searing yorkers. What we instead got was a sequence of "hit me" balls that were somehow even wider and shorter than what had gone before; and, while the 21 runs which came off the over were more than enough to decide the game . . . it was of course not in our favour. Even more ironically, said slower bowlers then came back on to great effect, Quentin Harmer (0/21) allowing just 5 runs from his next over, after which the scores were tied. Taha Ahsan (1/10) did manage then the most pyrrhic of victories, luring the rather cocky Coton batter miles down the track trying to win with a six, after which Neil completed a comfortable stumping. And Taha should also have had a wicket next ball when a wild top-edge headed towards mid-off where Simon, who made a strange half-move towards the ball before eventually allowing it to land at his feet, perhaps giving some insight into how he has moved into equal third place on on the list of most Remnants games without completing a catch (and is just four off the all-time record - stay tuned!).
With most of the Remnants heading straight off on their longer-than-usual return journeys, Marcus's generously provided cake was, both literally and metaphorically, enjoyed mainly by the opposition. (Marcus, now safely home, of course didn't even get to enjoy a bite, once again demonstrating that no good deed goes unpunished.)
