Report by Daniel Mortlock:
Having lost last night after trying the effective late-season tactic of arriving late to bat first, we took the opposite approach this evening, agreeing to bowl first against the Woozlers, nominally in order to get the game started promptly - but of course really to engineer a win. (Didn't work.)
The first ball of the innings was pretty representative of the subsequent hour: the batter chanced their arm with a rather uncontrolled drive, connecting well enough that the ball scooted across the boundary despite Andy Owen at short cover getting his hand to it (and despite Daniel Mortlock's less material intervention in the form of a midjudged parabolic path that crossed that of the ball at least twice without making contact). While the batters' risky shot-making did see us take eight wickets, the more important fact was that they hit a combined total of 18 boundaries. This was partly a tactical error on our part when we persisted with pace for a bit too long: Ben Stone (0/22) and Hume Fisher (2/27) both bowled well, inducing plenty of misses and mis-hits . . . but even innocuous looking defensive shots and outside edges were enough for the hard ball new to zoom away over the parched ground. With the benefit of hindsight, we might already been done for by allowing the Woozlers to score 44 from the first 4 (eight-ball) overs of the innings - that was the highest scoring sequence of the whole match.
We certainly had plenty of slower bowling options available, and the sense that we should have turned to them sooner was certainly not dispelled when Daniel (2/2) struck twice in his first (and only) over. That said, his first wicket was entirely down to canny field-placement and superb fielding: correctly guessing that the batters would see the reduced pace as a chance to get on the front foot, Hume at mid-on was immediately pushed to the boundary: the second ball of the over was lofted in his direction but was well short; the third was smacked long and high, giving Hume the time to run around and take an absolutely superb diving catch (made even more challenging by the use of a rock-hard pink ball that pings off hands - and destroys fingers).
Continuing the "pace off" approach after switching ends to now have the long boundary on the leg-side we ended up with seven-overs each delivered by a different bowler who was slower than the one before. James Alvey (1/21) and John Moore (1/11) struck immediately and Sasha Vail (0/10) induced some uncertain mis-hits, but the real fun was saved for the final over of the innings, delivered by Andy Owen (2/23). He first got the prize wicket of Ed Hyde (who must average something like 100 against Remnants) and then had the new batter caught behind by Marcus Baker first ball. We brought the field in for the hat-trick delivery, which drew the new batted out of his crease and beat him for flight, so it just needed Marcus to complete what appeared to be a straightforward stumping . . . but Marcus thought the ball was going to hit the stumps and then couldn't adjust in time when it didn't. Then, with Marcus (and, presumably Andy) putting his hands up in anguish, the batters saw the chance to scamper a bye - which John was alert to, but there was nobody by the stumps to take his underarm throw. The reprieved batter made the most of his life, hitting the final two balls of the innings to the boundary to leave us with a worryingly high target (given the format) of 120 to win.
Our innings got off to a solid start courtesy of Seb Hammersley (40* retired off 36 balls, taking him all but level with James Robinson for the season's top-scorer) and Matty Wills (18 off 19 balls). The only problem was that we were scoring mainly in ones and twos, with only four boundaries in the first six overs - as Lahiru noted, the ball wasn't travelling over the ground nearly as quickly now, presumably due to being older and softer. A middle-order collapse was then probably the nail in the coffin, even if Marcus (38* off 31 balls) valiantly attempted a vampiric escape - but the fact that he hit eight twos and a three, versus just three boundaries, was testament to both the difficulty timing the ball and some excellent Woozlers outfielding. Marcus managed to keep us in the game as far as the penultimate over - our score of 102/4 with nine deliveries remaining was actually one ahead of where the Woozlers had been at the same stage of their innings - but where they'd hit 4 1 2 we had three successive dots, and ed ended up falling short by a margin of eight runs (a figure you may remember from earlier in the report).
Thus the Woozlers ended their 2025 season as so many before, with a clean sweep over Remnants - they definitely looked to be enjoying their post-match beers more than us.