Report by Daniel Mortlock
Superb performances by Qaiser (1/19 bowling at express pace with the wind) and TK (39 off 31 balls) weren't enough to secure a win today . . . which was just as well - they were, as you've no doubt already worked out, playing for GEANT. As usual they were a nightmare to play against as, despite being a lovely bunch and supplying post-match pizza and drinks, their side is a bizarre mix of top-quality league players (as above) and absolute novice cricketers, such as a visiting Dutchman playing his first game and whose "bowling action" (it would be impossible to use the term more loosely) would, er, likely not meet with ICC approval. The difficulty is that the match-ups can go horribly wrong, with our better bowlers taking their foot off the pedal against non-cricketers or our batters getting out to their "proper" bowlers before getting the chance to feast on the part-timers.
That's certainly what happened first-up, as the game started with not just the highest standard cricket of the evening, but possibly of our season. Our openers Neeban Balayasoderan (17 off 18 balls) and Matty Wills (12 off 12 balls) found themselves in an evenly-matched battled with Qaiser and Zuraiz Khan (2/17), before both being done by nasty in-swingers. When Lahriu Wijedasa (3 off 9 balls) was dismissed in similar fashion we were in some trouble at 38/3, and the sense was that TK had gotten full value for his trump cards.
The game then entered a sort of cricketing Twilight Zone as GEANT's non-cricketers were thrown the ball - which they then threw at our batters. It was all in the spirit of giving people a go, so we didn't call any no balls for chucking; but we should have called more for double-bouncers and high full-tosses, to say nothing of the deliveries which were barely - or not - on the cut strip. Our fourth wicket pair of Hume Fisher and Joe White understandably struggled to score, and were just 3* off 11 balls and 5* off 11 balls, respectively. With just 55 runs on the board after 8 (eight-ball) overs there was a real danger that, despite having good batters in against, er, mixed bowling, we'd be restricted to an uncompetitive total.
But, when we finally got what we wanted - normal bowling, just not quite at the level of the openers - Hume and Joe finally broke free. Indeed, the the only real difficulty at this stage appeared to be distinguishing between the two of them: we were all very surprised when it was Joe who was called in for compulsory retirement on 42* (off 41 balls), when most of us were convinced it was Hume (officially 36* off 36 balls) who'd done more of the scoring. Still, the main thing was that our eventual total of 145/3 would, given the retirements, surely be enough to defend.
Our opening attack of Naveen Chouksey (0/14 off 2 overs) and Iqtedar Alam (0/20 off 3 overs) did well, although really as defense, as they both managed to keep TK and his partner quiet, while also not really troubling the batters too much. (In particular, Iqtedar wasn't able to engineer a repeat of TK's "walk of shame" from Trinity last year, primarily because he steadfastly refused to leave his crease.) We backed up our bowlers in the field, with a number of good stops of hard-hit shots - no mean feat, given that the hard outfield was taking a lot of turn - although there was a team-level fail when Neeban fired in a throw from the boundary which yorked the wicket-keeper, Hume; no problem, it seemed, since three players were backing up . . . except the ball evaded all of them, resulting in the most absurd overthrow.
Change bowlers Paul Jordan (1/25), Faruk Kara (0/19) and John Moore (1/27, including the prize wicket of TK) then all started with good first overs (joint figures of 2/21) after which they apparently decided to make a game of it with an unhealthy diet of full-tosses and half-trackers in their second overs (joint figures of 0/50). Questions about intent - or bribery - aisde, there was certainly no denying that GEANT were now very much back in the game: having ended the 11th over on 108/2, their requirement was now a worryingly gettable 38 off 32 balls.
The answer was simply to cut out the four balls, which Daniel (3/8, which Joe uncharitably suggested was an example of "harvesting") and Neeban (1/4) managed most effectively, conceding no boundaries and just a single two across their three overs. That meant we could give the final over to Quentin Harmer (not actually in the eleven but "playing" according to Pitchero's stupid wording), who got to complete our win with a tidy over of 1/9. The wicket came when Hume completed an elegant stumping off the penultimate delivery, leaving GEANT's Dutch visitor Bram Peeters to bat for the first time ever; after some quick instructions on where to stand and confirmation that he should simply hit the ball, he did just that, finishing the game with a lofted drive (well, "drive") over mid-on and, once pointed in the right direction, an easy single.
After that it was time for pizzas and beers thanks to GEANT, as both sides enjoyed the evening light.
