Remnants vs. Cambridge Assessment

17:45, Tuesday, August 9, 2022
Fitzwilliam College

Cambridge Assessment (102/6 in 15 8-ball overs)
lost to
Remnants (106/3 in 10.1 8-ball overs)
by 7 wickets.

Report by Daniel Mortlock

This evening's match presented several quite distinct challenges: first, as always, there was the usual task of trying to beat the opposition; second, this particular opposition's orgainser had become quite evangelical about the miracle non-rock-like pink balls he'd managed to acquired in some dodgy-sounding eBay actuion and was keen we use one this evening; finally, the opposition we were up against was Cambridge Assessment (previously UCLES, and now a kind of umbrella educational organisation that has subsumed our old opponents Cambridge University Press), and so we would have to match not only their cricketing skills, but also their intimidating cultural and scientific knowledge. It is hence pleasing to be able to report we successfully passed all three trials on what was a most enjoyable evening.

First to be dealt with was the pink ball: our opening attack of Qaiser Ahmed (0/10) and Ben Stone (1/16) got lift and lateral movement, respectively, and, even though Qaiser insisted succinctly "don't like 'em", it seemed to behave roughly like a more traditional ball - and it was certainly easier to see. This passage of play also gave us cause for optimism that we might rise to the first challenge too: unless Cambridge Assessment were saving some big-hitters for later in the innings, the sense was that our bowling would be good enough to contain their batting.

Our dominance was then consolidated during a two-over passage in which the score went from 29/1 to 35/5. The catalyst was a terrible call for a second run and a good throw from the substitute fielder we'd kindly been supplied with; and then Paul Jordan (3/18) took three wickets in four balls (although we went half-way to recalling the first of these, who was given out LBW despite some of us being convinced he'd got an inside edge). Marcus Baker's reaction to this was to start encouraging Paul as "Oppenheimer", which left all of us confused - and even his subsequent explanation that Paul "had become Death, the destroyer of worlds" left most of us confused. It was here that we were able to demonstrate our lesser-seen cultural knowledge: Paul himself explained that this phrase was that with which Robert Oppenheimer had marked the successful detonation of the first atomic bomb; then Daniel upped the ante by asserting that this was not original, but actually a quote from Hindu scripture; after which Remnants first-timer Rob Macfarlane was able to immediately confirm that these were indeed the words ascribed to Krishna, an incarnation of the Hindu god of preservation Vishnu, in the Bhagavad-Gita.

Rob's reward for this demonstation of our academic credentials was to be thrown the ball, and he delivered a couple of tight overs of seam that yielded his first Remnants wicket and tidy figures of 1/18 - along with redemption for his first fielding effort for Remnants (a horror dropped catch that presumably was down to nerves given his subsequent excellent fielding). We were then able to finish off with a few overs from our other debut player, Hari Kukreja, who'd already shown himself to be a gun fielder and now essayed first an over of sharp medium pace (0/4) and then a dramatic over of leg-spin (0/6) - and it was subsequently revealed that he also bowls offies, but we'd run out of overs to see those. Still, it would be churlish to grumble given that, through what CJ described as the most solid bowling performance he'd seen from a Remnants side, we had a target of comfortably less than a run a ball.

Felix Serby and CJ Barrie began our chase carefully, as they were faced with a quality bowler who managed to combine Qaiser's pace with Ben's movement in the air. It was thus not so surprising when CJ was bowled off an inside edge (for 8 off 10 balls), after which Andy Bell failed to trouble the scorers - or at least would have back in the days when dots weren't recorded. We were thus in a little trouble at 22/2 in the 4th (eight-ball) over.

We were soon in no trouble at all as Felix, having played himself in, was greeted by a wild bouncer (called as a wide) from the first change bowler - the fastest of the evening, he'd apparently decided to start his spell with a bit of intimidation. Felix's response was a succession of dismissive leg-side flicks, the full over reading + 4 4 LB2 4 4 4 4. This last shot, Felix's ninth boundary, took him to retirement on 43* off 27 balls - although whatever cool points he gained from starting to walk the moment he'd hit the ball were more than cancelled out by the fact that a passing Remnant who'd dropped by to watch had thought it had been his father Tom out in the middle. That over really was the end of the match as a contest, after which Hari (21 off 19 balls), Marcus (5* off 11 balls) and Qaiser (13* off 7 balls) eased us home, the winning boundary - our 17th, as compared to the opposition's 6 - coming with 39 balls to spare.

The scoreline might look familiar from several other matches earlier in the year, but with the critical difference that this time it wasn't our total that was passed with time and wickets in hand. More importantly, everyone seemed to enjoy the warm evening - and the fact that Dave was on hand to provide cold beers afterwards.