Report by Dave Williams:
ORBs, like a mid-1970s permed and flared-trousered rock band, is apparently an acronym of the surnames of its members, in this case Owens (Andy and Catherine), Rexes (Richard, Ferdi and Maximus) and Bells (Andy, Lauren and Colette). This is a little unfair on the Normans, Dave and Jess, whose initial would have given the team the not quite so euphonious moniker NORBs, although BORNs still sounds suitably ABBA-like.
Yesterday's record for female team membership lasted only 24 hours; ORBs - featuring Jess, Sara Pelham, Catherine, Colette and Lauren - emphatically raised the bar.
Remnants captain Paul Jordan won the toss and chose to bat. The eminently droppable fizzing day-glo pink ball got a rest today in favour of the orange. First to use it today was Lauren, relaxing into her work by generating lively pace and hitting some good areas. Michael McCann managed a couple of twos in his four balls at the crease before getting his stumps knocked down. Tom Collett ran aggressively in tandem with your reporter, but Lauren's tidy line and length was repeatedly beating my bat for just a single off her second over. After an over from Ferdi, Richard's dual action off/leg finger spin was bamboozling enough to concede only 6 off his first two overs. The Remnants innings going nowhere fast, I attempted to get a move on by heaving Catherine's fourth ball into the sparsely populated leg side, but Maximus proved the orange ball was readily catchable (10 off 18 balls). Rob Harvey looked becalmed before getting run out by Andy with a direct hit (2 off 10 balls), thus bringing in Eli Ellwood. After the very languid preceding 24 off 6 (eight-ball) overs, Eli and Tom staged a spirited fightback. I have not previously seen such a dominating performance from Eli, who was showing exemplary balance and timing to use his feet and powerfully straight drive or smash to leg. Richard's final over went for 18, Catherine's for 14 as the Remnants run rate picked up towards a run a ball. Sarah was bowling straight to well-set fields that cut off the fours but still conceded 20 off her two; with the ball Dave Norman doesn't ever give anything away, but under the Ellwood/Collett onslaught his first still went for an impressive 12. Dave eventually pegged back Eli's leg stump for a superb 41 (off 28 balls). For a young chap Tom was looking decidedly peaky after all his running on this warm late summer's day; inevitably new bats John Moore (4 off 5 balls) and Matt Hughes (1 off 4 balls) eased off the pressure. Faruk Kara biffed a classy on drive for his 4* (off 5 balls), leaving Tom unbeaten on an excellent 42* (off 47 balls). 119 looked some 20 runs under par, but at least it was something for ORBs to chase. And in cricket you can never tell, can you?
Eli started well, sending back Maximus's off stump (2 off 6 balls). Matt's "crab in a blender" action achieved an 8-foot wide each side of the wicket plus the scalp of Lauren (1 off 2 balls), unlucky to find that a delivery slipping down leg side bounced off her boot before, in agonising slow motion, rolling on to the stumps and dislodging the off bail (Matt 2 overs, 1 for 18). After her impressive wicket-keeping display, Colette at number 3 played herself in before unveiling a nice range of shots both sides of the wicket. Furthermore, she successfully avoided getting injured by her dad at the other end. Andy was in one of his most ebullient moods, announcing his arrival by (second ball) smashing two lots of tiles on the pavilion roof. John Moore's second delivery (Andy's third ball) scattered scorers to all parts as Andy drilled one low and flat against the pavilion steps. Eli's second spell eventually induced a nick to Tom behind the stumps, but the damage had been done: Andy 45 off 26 balls; John two overs for 32; Eli 3 overs, 2 for 22). Faruk's immaculate line and length brought some order (3 overs for 13) and the wicket of Colette (stumped Collett, 11 off 20 balls). Ferdi was in hyper-disciplined mode today for his 14* (off 28 balls), perhaps chastened by his drive to Eli to long on, then calling his dad for the two (running to the danger end) only to find that Eli's fine throw had hit the stumps direct (Richard 0 off 1 balls). In truth no Ferdi fireworks were needed, though, as Dave Norman (39* off 26 balls) set about his work with his customary power and placement. Paul Jordan (2 overs for 23) induced an edge through first slip, but bowling to Dave (as I can attest) is not usually conducive to giving one's best. Alec Armstrong came on for his 1.1 overs for 11 at the end, achieving that most bathetic of endings, a wide to end the match.
Thus it was that the good ship Remnants finally and quietly sank beneath the waves for today. Fear not, gentle reader, for we shall surface once again, at Burrough Green, this very season! After that we shall gather for our Friday in late November jollifications, then nets, and then the season will begin once more . . .
As my last report for the season, on behalf of all of us I'd like to put on record some very public recognition for all Dave Norman does for our club - many, many thanks; we are not worthy. Lastly, none of this would happen - and you wouldn't be reading this either - without all the work done by Daniel. We're (if a non-astronomer can borrow the language) supermassively appreciative and grateful.