2008 Remnants annual dinner

For the last few years Remnants has had its annual dinner at Kami's on Hill's Road, but the closure of this venerable establishment meant both that Geoff and Sal were destined to go hungry, and that the club needed a new dinner venue. Which was found in quiet Newnham, in the form of The Red Bull pub on Barton Road.

Twenty hardy Remnants (well, nineteen and John Gull's last-minute date) made the journey out on the rather chilly evening of Friday, November 28, and we found ourselves being supplied with pizzas, pints and pinotage all the way through to midnight.

The Remnants dinner crowd: (from left) Andrew Lea stifles his excitement; Geoff Hales gets ready to do the quiz; Les Collings tucks into some pickled eggs; Daniel Mortlock endures the solitude enforced by not having showered; Sally Hales pops in from work; Rob Harvey does his best Jools Holland impression; and John Richer his impression of Rob Harvey doing his Jools Holland impression.

Jools Holland doing his best Rob Harvey impression.

To popular acclaim and considerable consternation the quiz was back this year, although arguably even harder than ever. Adrian and Nicky Mellish won a fine presentation bottle of Old Speckled Hen with their seemingly mediocre score of 29/50 - but before you start scoffing see if you can do any better:

Remnants quiz 2008

(To see the answers simply highlight the region below the questions with your mouse by dragging the cursor across the screen with the left button held down.)

Geoff Hales takes to the floor to give us the answers to this year's quiz, while Dave Williams (foreground) and Les Collings (background) pretend they got more answers right than they really did.


  1. Who took the first wicket of the season? (one run)

    Anil Waduge, who made a dynamic impact on his Remnants debut by taking 3/9, only to disappear for the rest of the season.

  2. Who took the first catch of the season? (one run)

    Joe White, not that he remembered doing so himself.

  3. Who hit the first four of the season? (one run)

    Dave Williams, not that he remembered it either.

  4. Who hit the first six of the season? (one run)

    Nick Clarke, which everyone remembered because it went through the roof of a nearby greenhouse.

  5. Who hit the first fifty of the season? (one run)

    Daniel Mortlock.

    Having hit the season's first half-century, Daniel was rewarded with being served the wrong pizza . . .

  6. Who hit the Pimm's at Queens' (one run, plus an extra)?

    Sally Hales was the intended answer, although a number of people were adamant that Ben Armitage also enjoyed this most manly of tipples after the match against Tektronics at Queens'.

    Highlights (seven-ball over)

  7. Who hit the winning runs at Caius (one run)?

    Many people quickly suggested Olly Rex (understandable, since it was his superb innings that got us back into that match), although fewer remembered that he'd been been fooled by the Slowest Ball Ever in the final over, leaving Dave Green to make the winning hit.

  8. Which two players got out for 49 (two runs)?

    Mikes Sneyd and Jones, batting together in the Travelling Theatre game.

  9. Who (predictably) got 100 and who (less predictably) bought his jugs (one run)?

    Nick Clarke, although it's not quite so clear why his century was predictable, given that it was his first ever in a Remnants game.

  10. Which two bowlers got their first-ever wickets? (two runs)

    We're talking first ever wickets here, not just in Remnants games: young Joe Harvey was a somewhat guessable answer; but the, er, less-young Lindsay Blickem was not quite so obvious.

  11. Who got 3/1 in 1.4 overs and a career-best 5/27? (one run)

    Les "I am the egg-man, I am the walrus" Collings.

  12. Who got a six-for, and which two other bowlers have done as well or better? (three runs)

    Tom Serby's 6/15 against The Pretty Boys this year was the fourth-best bowling figures in Remnants history.

    Tom Serby tries to escape the paparrazi who've followed him everywhere since he burst onto the international cricketing scene with his record-breaking 6/15 against The Pretty Boys.


  13. Who bowled the last over of the season, who faced it, and how many runs were scored? (three runs)

    With one over of the Remnants season remaining Andy Owen had 4/7, and only Geoff Hales stood between him and a first-ever Remnants five-for. But an over later nothing had changed: Andy still had 4/7; Geoff had faced the whole over; and the last runs of the Remnants season had already been scored.

  14. Who didn't manage an impossible last-ball leg-bye and so only tied a won game? (two runs)

    In our first match against Granta this year we were cruising towards victory until some late wickets and unenterprising batting left us needing one run off the final ball to avoid the most frustrating of ties. Andrew Lea and Daniel Mortlock tried their best to scamper the winning leg-bye, but sadly never even went close.

  15. Which team delivered a 28-run 13-ball over against us and still nearly won?

    Churchill College.

  16. Who was putting his pullover on when a catch came his way, and what happened?

    At the risk of entering A Question Of Sport territory, it was Adrian Mellish who decided to put his jumper on while the ball was being bowled and sadly couldn't disentangle himself in time to stop the boundary, let alone take the catch.

    Nicky and Adrian Mellish, still embarrassed by the latter's "wardrobe malfunction".

  17. Who came for the weekend and brought the weather with him?

    That would be Phil Watson, who visited Cambridge in the hope of both playing in the six-a-side tournament and having an evening game . . . but instead found himself confined to the pub for most of his trip.

  18. Whose average went down to about 150 when he got out first ball?

    John Gull, who dominated with the bat this year on his way to an awesome of 311 runs at 155.50, but before his final innings he had an even more awesome 311 runs at 311.00.

    Last over (22 wanted)

  19. Name eleven Remnants who share a surname with a well-known cricketer and a different eleven who share a surname with a well-known footballer.

    There was some debate about the meaning of "well-known" and a few extra answers were suggested, but these were Geoff's suggested answers for the cricketers:

    1. Joe "Cameron" White
    2. Colin "James" Anderson
    3. Mike "Simon" Jones
    4. Rupert (or Alex) "Dougie" Brown
    5. David "Stuart" Williams
    6. Robin "Frank" Woolley (who is actually Robin's grand-father, or somesuch)
    7. Rob (or Joe) "Neil" (or "Ian") Harvey
    8. Jon "David" Steele
    9. Nick "Michael" Clarke
    10. Bryan (or Andrew) "Brett" Lea (which was allowed despite the Australian cricketer's name being Lee)
    11. Matt "Merv" Hughes
    . . . and for the footballers:
    1. Paul "Joe" Jordan
    2. Dave "Rob" Green
    3. Andy "Michael" Owen
    4. John "Bobby" Moore
    5. Andrew (or Bryan) "Francis" Lea
    6. Everton "Paul" Fox
    7. Chris "Mark" McNeill
    8. Phil "Dave" Watson
    9. Dave "Maurice" Norman
    10. John "Luke" Young
    11. Geoff "Derek" Hales
    12. Alex (or Rupert) "Wes" Brown

Bonus quiz question: What happened to the Burberry pattern on Mike Sneyd's sleeves?

Bonus quiz answer: it got lucky.

Dave Williams, collecting money for the bill, won't hear any nonsense about people not having their match fees.

Les Collings reveals his recipe for a happy life: three glasses of South African pinotage; one plate of ice-cream and waffles; and one jar of pickeled eggs.

Richard Rex reluctantly accepts the hideous Remnants discretional trophy, while Dave Williams happily applauds the fact that he doesn't have to explain the monstrosity to his wife.

Russell Woolf gets up to attend the filming of Strictly Come Dancing, having devoured the yummy-looking pizza that was meant to be Daniel's.

After the quiz Geoff handed out the Champagne moment award (an actual bottle of bubbly, for once). There were a number of strong candidates: Olly Rex's single-handed rescue mission against The Computer Lab; Richard Rex's stunning catch(es); Nick Clarke's maiden Remnants century; and Les Collings's first Remnants five-for. But in the end there was no way to go past Tom Serby's spell of 6/15 that saved us from the possibility of an absurd defeat against George Speller's Pretty Boys. The formalities might have ended there, but Russell Woolf gave his "captain's summary"; Joe White gave his considerably briefer "vice-captain's summary"; Daniel Mortlock bequeathed the horrid Remnants "discretionary trophy" to Richard Rex for his year's fielding efforts; and Mike Sneyd led a hearty vote of thanks to Geoff for his superb work in creating and running the club. But this gave Geoff the chance for the decisive last word, reminding everyone that 2008 was to be his last year as secretary, leaving everyone to debate who best to replace him over dessert.

This debate (and plenty of others) continued until about 1am when, finally, the pub closed and a certain scorer had to be convinced that home was the appropriate destination.